Around Chicago

For anyone looking into the cultural side of the city, the stage adaptation of Monty Python's Holy Grail is now playing downtown. Tickets start at $25. The cast includes Tim Curry, Hank Azaria, and David Hyde Pierce.
The Chicago Maroons (I know, I thought Bugs Bunny, too) have begun their "conference" basketball schedule. Already having beaten arch-"rival" Washington University, the Maroons are ripe for a string of bad losses. Anything under 20 points is considered a "victory". I understand that U of C students pride themselves on their witty heckling and, given the small size of the gym and poor attendance, you can heckle and then sit back, relax, sip your soda, and listen to your witticisms a second time as they echo throughout the building.
The UIC Fightin' Flames have all-but guaranteed that they need to win the Horizon "League" tournament to make the NCAAs again, as they are now 11-8 with losses to UW-Milwaukee, UW-Parkside, and Bowling Green. BOOOOoo!
The Oriental Institute will open its new East Asia wing on January 29. The exhibits will reportedly include selections from Iraq, Iran, and all the other ancient cultures Americans don't like. The Institute still has a suggested donation of $5, but I doubt anyone will pay that much to look at some pottery made by those goddamn towelheads. 'Murika ROCKS!
The Field Museum has opened its new exhibit, which features the clothing of Jackie Kennedy. Monday and Tuesday are free admission days. If you know a woman and you want to get laid, make plans to go.
The Chicago Cubs have concluded a craptacular offseason which saw them make exactly zero moves to contend next year. The Cubbies, sans Steve Stone, will feature an infield of Aramis Ramirez, Nomar Garciaparra, Todd Walker, Derrick Lee, and Michael Barrett. The outfield will feature 60-year old Sammy Sosa, Corey Patterson, and another aged twat as yet unnamed. Probably Todd Hollandsworth.
The White Sox (what else could cheer a Cubs fan?) did even more damage to their team without even taking the field, letting go of masher, RBI machine, and all-around badass Carlos Lee. His replacement will likely be a deaf mute, or someone equally able to absorb the screaming jeers he will get from fat, drunken White Sox fans. The Sox also, you will remember, traded away Esteban Loaiza last year for a vastly overrated Yankees pitcher (too redundant?), so that team is fucked. They still got Frank Thomas, though. With that artificial hip, look for him to fully run out every slow roller to the pitcher this season.
The Bulls, Bears, and Blackhawks all still stink. And that can be said without the Hawks even playing a game.
Anyone in the vicinity of 601 S. Morgan next Tuesday might wish to stop in and hear East Carolina University's Roger Biles deliver a paper on textile towns in eastern North Carolina. 2pm, room 950 University Hall. Should be damn exciting.