I Lied

OK, I'm still here, but I promise that I'll leave soon.
Two things, while they're in my head:

1. Haven't heard much from the screaming fascists on the Right about Rumsfeld's big fuckup the other day. Why so quiet, morons? Finally found your shame? Or just too dumb to spin this one correctly? Look, it's really simple: It's the troops' fault. Our army is full of liberals and commie faggots, and that's why we didn't win. Rumsfeld was telling the God's honest truth up there...right?
THAT's how you spin it--by NOT spinning it. Then, if people swallow it, you know you've won.
But, see, I don't think that's how the dummies on the Right will play it, because somewhere, deep down in their black, cowardly little hearts, they know damn well that Americans are not with them on this. We never were. We were just a little lazy and a little confused. But that's over--now I see clearly, as Joe Strummer would say. Tonight it's raining on the angels of the city. Did anyone prophesize these people? Only Travis...


2. If you're a Republican and you're going somewhere sunny and oceanic for the holidays, don't bother to take any kind of floatation device or swim near lifeguards.
Now, look--I'm not saying I want you to drown. This occurred to me the other day, and I'm sharing it with you as a good deed.
It's not that you'll sink; the opposite, in fact. What I realized the other day (after taking a good, heavy dump that vaguely resembled the President's wife) is that turds float!