Republican Douchehole Falls Down, Injures Vagina

Oh Lord, if you exist, please be the God of vengeance of the Old Testament. And, I humbly beseech you, smite the stupid asshole who left a comment below in the "Words" post (the first one only. The second one was me. I assume my punishment was having to read his idiotic, digital smegma removal of a post).
Now that you've read it, tell me this: why are Republicans such enormous vaginas? I mean no direspect to women or their vaginas, but is there anything worse than BEING a pussy? This guy is about to burst into tears (I think his typos might have actually been the result of big, fat teardrops hitting the keyboard as he pecked out his semi-literate message). Have we become so powerful, Almighty Fellow Lefties, that right-wingers tear up at the thought of us, the same way they do when they make a wrong turn and wind up driving their SUVs through a bad neighborhood? have you ever seen those fuckwads? They look like they're about to cry--and if a black person cared enough to confront them, I believe they would bawl like the big, overfed, undereducated babies they are. What a bunch of fucking useless cunts!
I have a partial solution to this young man's (?) problem. Let him (?) exercise what he (?) apparently believes is his (?) right as an American: to be an individual. This she-male is all in a huff because he (?) wants what he (?) wants, and ain't nobody gonna tell him (?) no diff'ernt, goddammit! A very nice university professor offered to teach him (?) and his (?) band of drunken, piss-drinking frat boy (?) MBA candidates about politics and history, and how one might make a reasonable argument for conservatism by utilizing those tools.
The monkeys wanted none of it. They jeered, and double-dealt, just like the Rovian assclowns they are, and took to their 1000 typewriters attempting to produce that most elusive of masterpieces: the conservative manifesto (little tip for the TV/TS Young Republicans: if Ayn Rand couldn't do it, you dumb shits don't have a prayer. HA!). Instead, all that came out was shit-stained gibberish. Naturally.
So now, they're back at square one, asking who, oh WHO?! will teach them; if by "teach" we understand that they mean "let us do and say whatever we want, and what we want is to be like Karl Rove, George Bush, Charles Krauthammer, and any other easy-answer nutless wonders we can latch onto!"
Here's the solution: fuck them. Fuck them till they're dead. They want to be rampant individualists (and they hate being cursed at, too--), so let's let them go at it. They think community and the state are a bad thing, well fine. Kick their bitch asses out of Rutgers, the STATE University of New Jersey. Make them pay back all the property owners whose TAXES paid for the schools the little jerkoffs went to. Make them all go out and live in the Heartland of America--you know, the boonies--without food, shelter, or clothes, since we all, every one of us, helped make those things possible. No city sewer, or electricity, or running water, or police protection, or roads, or cars, or any other fucking thing. They can all live in goddamn mud fucking huts, and cower in the corner wondering when (not if!) their neighbors will come over, kill them, and take their shit. THAT, my friends, is the Hobbesian nightmare, and these STUPID ASSHOLE NUMBNUT TWAT JOCKEYS WANT IT!!!!!
Cancer and syphilis can't possibly get them all; but oh God! if you're up there...