Observation

Everyone has, by now, observed that the only thing that can make a fat, stupid man irresistibly attractive to a beautiful woman is a script. Hence, TV sitcoms. Hence, as well, Judd Apatow movies. It won't be seen with these eyes, but the latest abomination to gut-jiggle its way onscreen is this Pineapple Express thing ("Pineapple Express," Judd? Was "Melonball Railroad" taken or something? What about "Tangelo Layover"?), which seems by the ads to be yet another tired, "pot smoking is so...yeeeeeeah" movie.

Let me ask you: does Seth Rogen (the slob who stars and also wrote the film) remind you of that guy at a party who really wants to tell you all the stories he can remember, sorta, about his buddies who smoke pot? And, if you really were at said party, would you stick around to humor him, or would you go find somebody interesting to talk to? And, to take it one step further, if you decided to humor the dumb shit, would you give him $10 to hear his pot stories? Seth Rogen wants you to give him $10 to hear his pot stories. Really.

Pomegranate Go-Kart. Next-day Fruit Salad. Slow Boat to Cantaloupe.