Can't Spell Shitty Without ITT

I play in a softball league for nonprofits. I don't work at a nonprofit, I just play for a team. I catch the ball very much, but the batting is pretty average. The ball is just too fucking s.l.o.w.

Anyway, we just lost to In These Times magazine. This is a personal defeat for me, because I grew up reading ITT in the later Jimmy Weinstein years, and then I subscribed upon reaching majority, for about 10 years. During that time, Weinstein first lost control of the rag and then up and died and the magazine became more about defending editor Joel Bleifuss' personal lifestyle and preferences and running pieces of gibberish by the softest heads left of center. I vowed to crush ITT in softball as payback for those years of suffering through yet another piece of utter horseshit calling itself social criticism by Slavoj Zizek.

But a funny thing happened on the way to my crushing-that-ITT-was-unaware-it-should-have-been-expecting: in a rec league, noncompetitive, coed division, where taking a walk is akin to joining Fox & Friends, ITT started taking walks. In. slow. pitch. softball. And no amount of booing, swearing, or threats could get them to start swinging the bats again. Long story short, they won the game with walks.

Now, aside from the fact that it almost came to blows during the postgame handshake (they decided that you can't walk your way through a fistfight, I guess), ITT had no idea what they did wrong. What does that mean?

Furthermore, this was a collection of trust fund sissies and weird-for-weird's sake bohos who couldn't be more incapable of effecting Weinstein's commie revolution. I listened to one of them, as I was coaching third base, telling his friend all about visiting the resort/college town of Asheville, NC as a kid, and then finishing it off by saying, "yeah, I'd move there but, like my parents live there? So I don't want to do that?" And then I knew just how dark this defeat was going to be.

Wouldn't James Weinstein, the crazy fucker, beat you to death with a bat if you dared to suggest that he should play on a co-rec slow pitch softball team? You know, and also, like, your parents? From Asheville? You know?