When I Eat Breakfast, the Chex's in the Male

Cereal report: generic Chex are called Corn Pockets and they are a first-rate, second-rate imitation of the brand-name vittles. By that, I mean that Corn Pockets cut the hell out of the roof of the mouth, just like Chex.

After a little research, it turns out that Corn Pockets are America's 3rd-most popular generic cereal, just ahead of Poop Loops and slightly behind Chaff Box. The leader, of course, is Abrasive O's.