Clever, You Are Not

What is it with lefty writers and their absolute conviction that they are witty and urbane? If one more person writes a column, article, or blog post about the Gonzales situation that makes a mafia reference, I will personally find them and feed them their balls. Or, if it's a woman, my balls. And then I will tip her and say goodnight. Ba-dum-bum.

Many of the scribblers in question also think it's clever to refer to the VP as "Darth Cheney" and that insight is to be found in random pop culture puns--hopelessly dated, of course, since the cutting-edge of left journalism is twenty years behind the times. Hey, it beats the right-wing journalists. They're still in the fifties, my good man!

But I have just seen the most asinine opinion on the horribly-named Huffington Post, comparing the administration to the Sopranos, and I can't take it anymore. Stop it, just stop it!

--This isn't new or interesting. We ALL have always thought Bush and his cronies were racketeers and Bolsheviks and whatever else.

--Puns and hack analogies add NOTHING to the conversation.

--You are not cool or insightful. You are a boring, old, stupendously unhip person. Do not even start making that fucking Star Trek hand symbol at me while comparing Karl Rove to the Romulans or some shit like that. I will poke your fucking eyes out.