They Shoot Horses, Don't They?

It was bad enough that, only hours after a category 4 hurricane plowed through a major city and did obvious major damage to people and the property of said people, CNN and other news outlets chose to devote time and energy to stories that began thusly: "Amid all the worry about Katrina, what about the pets that were left behind?..." But the simple fact is that now, weeks after the event, and in the wake of another, lesser storm, the same news shows are still returning to this topic as though it ranks right up there with the malfeasance of FEMA or the nincompoopery of the administration. Operation Puppy Cat apparently outranks Operation Save Humans. The stories of abandoned animals get more play than those of abandoned children. Both stories are being used for decidedly unworthy purposes: to get middle-aged housewives to watch CNN during the daytime. Hence, the lack of a point to any of the stories: "Bill, I have to say that I have never, never seen anything like this. A mama cat has given birth to eleven kittens right here in the Superdome and she is doing fine. What resilience these little balls of life have! How inspiring! Don't mins that shadow behind me, it's just a dead human..."

No one has asked, but I'll offer anyway. Shoot the fucking animals.
Aside from considerations of disease, they are a decent food source (if you can eat a 'possum...). They also take up resources that living, breathing people could use--people who may not be living and breathing too much longer if the powers-that-be don't stop relentlessly harping on the dire plight of dumb animals. At this point, our media has become like a violent schizophrenic: one minute wallowing orgiastically in the shameful degradation of desperate humans who are steps from death, the next minute cooing and farting over puppy dogs and widdle kitties.

Liberals don't help. This kind of news coverage, it can safely be said, is tailor-made for them. Just as liberals think it's just peachy to have an anti-war protest where everyone in attendance has a different message to scream about ("Jews out of Palestine! Women Need the Bomb! Children's Emancipation! Marmots are People Too! Oh, and Get Out of Iraq!"), so does the news believe that meaningful conveyance of information can be achieved through diffuse reporting. Liberals, if the message boards at AmericaBlog.com are any indication, are schizophrenic.

And, worst of all, they love animals. No, they REALLY, really, love them. Republicans like dogs, even faggy little terriers like that rag Bush has (tie it to a stick and wash your car). Democrats (and sure, I treat "liberal" and "Democrat" as one and the same, for all intents and purposes) love all animals, because Democrats don't believe in hierarchy. People may have evolved from lower animals, but that doesn't mean we're better than they. No, we have to treat our pets like members of the family--which means that, like our children, we have to let them piss and shit all over us, literally and figuratively.

Well, here it is: fuck you, douchebags. I've had it up to here with the animal rights shit and I can't take any more. I have two arguments for the next bleeding-at-the-gums animal rights person I see: right fist, left fist. Get serious or get out of politics. With Republicans in charge, there's a good chance we're all going to die in some horrible way and yet I suspect that, stupid shits that you are, you'll probably use the bullets on your precious kitties and leave yourselves to starve to death.