I Believe Everything I Read

Now this story is just plain stupid, but I have no doubt it will be first on the news tonight. It concerns an audit of New York's Medicaid program that revealed that more than 100 sex offenders were able to get Viagra through the state program.

The problem, of course, is that Medicaid is too generous and should be cut to the bone to prevent all poor people from getting most prescriptions filled at a low cost.

No, wait. That doesn't seem right. It might be, in fact, that Medicaid shouldn't cover a middle class drug like Viagra which was invented, I seem to recall, so that white guys with lots of money but limp dicks could get it up on the weekends. (NO, stupid bitches of the world, birth control is not covered in most cases, but Viagra is! See how women's liberation worked and the patriarchy is dead? Who needs women's history classes or Planned Parenthood?)

It also may be that NY state ought to monitor its sex offenders a little more closely--as in, as I suggested before, never letting them out of treatment programs (ie, lifetime incarceration, albeit not in a penitentiary).

But no, dear, simple readers. The Associated Press doesn't want to miss its midmorning coffee break, so there will be no critical thinking today. Medicaid is to blame, so let's do away with it! Hooray for the death of reason!