Holy Shit! I Feel Terrible...

Jesus, do I feel like an asshole. For the last four months, I have been railing on this skinny doofus from Rutgers, James O'Keefe, who bills himself as some sort of conservative wunderkind. He founded the Centurion, a publication backed by rightwing money, that purports to correct the political imbalance at Rutgers University. Now, I could make some kind of "cry me a river, bitches" comment here, but that is too easy. Particularly given O'Keefe's condition.

See, he is apparently retarded.

I never would have guessed this from his writing, which appears to be about average for the pencil-taped-to-the-forehead crowd; no, it was his journal that clued me in. See, he sent me a copy of this month's issue, which contains (incidentally) some stolen work of mine that his nurse must have ganked from this site. It's not cool, but I really can't say that I expect retards to know about complex concepts like ethics or legality. That's what Republicans lecture us about, remember. About the journal: I think he wanted my autograph, but I just feel sick now. Um...just keep your chin up, Jimmy. Uh...you're gonna make it and so forth. Oh, Christ! I just can't do it....

Why? Because if you read the Centurion it becomes apparent very quickly that it's a joke. Somebody at Rutgers has a wicked sense of humor. But, and I stress this, using a retard to produce satire is pretty low. So, whoever you are, you are a funny, funny, sleazy man. Now please leave the 'tard out of it. Yes, your articles are perfect imitations of nonsensical rightwing pablum, but a: it's a one-trick pony and b: if the deep pockets backing the Centurion ever figure it out, you can kiss your future in exploitation and oppression goodbye. I'm trying to help you here.

I have been beating on this O'Keefe guy for a while now, and while I have done worse things (that thing with the firetruck kid was pretty bad), this one is perhaps the most embarrassing. Seriously, this is one funny parody of a fucktard conservative's journal, but now that I've read the whole thing, I cannot in good conscience condone the exploitation of the gullible and innocent. But, before you join me in righteous indignation, do read the back page article about the lack of diversity in faculty ice cream preferences. It's a scream.

That's my mea culpa. Poor kid.