The Diminshed Mrs. McCain

Cindy McCain must be furious. If she isn't, right now, then she will be. Why? Let's go to the video.

Does anyone actually believe that the second Mrs. McCain thinks her husband, the 72-year-old geriatric, is making a smart move by taxing his weary body and dissipating mind with a drawn-out run for the White House? Hell no! She wants to be First Lady, folks. That's about as far as her eyes can see (not because she also isn't a spring chicken anymore and may have cataracts, mind you; because she's a self-centered little rich girl who never thinks about anyone but Cindy McCain).

But oh, how that train has come off the tracks. Not just because Obama/Biden is kicking the shit out of her husband's team, but because even if he wins the presidency she is in line for a level of public exposure somewhat less than what the secretary of HUD currently receives.

John McCain's choice of Sarah Palin is eating up both Cindy's psyche and her airtime. Palin is a beauty-queen who apparently does not own a blouse with more than 3 buttons on it. She has a haircut, makeup tastes, and demeanor that mark her as either a backwoods tart or else a porn actress. John McCain will be spending upwards of 12 hours a day, exclusive of naps, with this woman for the next two months (and maybe more, if he wins!). Is this a shallow analysis of Palin? Yes. But it's also visually accurate and her selection as VP nominee is based, I believe, on some of these observable qualities (and, by implication, the desire to not have to show Cindy McCain, the faded beauty queen, on TV as much). As my wife says (and in a non-sexual way, in the literal sense) "how you get your man is how you lose your man, Cindy!"

If McCain/Palin actually wins, Cindy McCain's nightmare only gets worse. She wants to be the prettiest thing in the White House, a glamor icon. Laura Bush? Please. That trailer park ho shops at K-Mart. Barbara Bush was a tranny mess. Hillary Clinton is butch and then some. Cindy represents the First Lady as she might have been forty years ago, albeit with a fuckton of makeup and about one-tenth as much intelligence (did you know that Jackie Kennedy translated her own correspondence from Spanish and French? ).

But a McCain victory equals no such exposure for Cindy. The new game in town is Sarah Palin, and she's twice the woman any American could ever wish for, according to John McCain.

Pity Cindy. She may yet get her White House wish. But she's already a ghost as far as the campaign and the public are concerned. Her husband's desperate choice -- surprise! -- fucked over another woman in his life. I doubt he even noticed.