God Comes Off the Bench

Nobody watched this, because Miami of Ohio vs. Akron? Come again? But there's a priceless article here about the game, which was a championship of some sort--I think the winner gets to get pasted by Kansas in the first round of that other tournament.

Basic facts: time low. wacky shot. referees unsure if game over. melee ensued.

The money line is: ''I wish I could say I called that bank,'' (Doug) Penno said. ''But it was a gift from God.''

No, Doug Penno, you're a gift from God. You make people like me feel so much better about myself because I'm not a retard like you. Of course, you also, simultaneously, make me worry about the future of this country when retards like you can actually profess a belief that God Himself intervened in your crappy small-conference tournament to redirect a bad shot. That was on TV, Doug. Children will think that's true, now.