Barry Bonds: Megaroid

This is catchy: in the new afterword to the paperback edition of Game of Shadows, which as all you diehard baseball fans know is the book by San Francisco Chronicle reporters detailing Barry Bonds' steroid use, is the news that his feet have grown 2.5 sizes since he first came to the major leagues.

How many of you have experienced dramatic foot growth after age 18 or so? Me neither.


Update: Yesterday, Buster Olney of ESPN brought up the announcement by Bonds that he had received death threats (in the past, before the homerun thing--presumably because Barry Bonds was and always has been an insufferable asshole).

To Bonds' credit, I guess, you have to put the fact that he did not play up the comparison Buster Olney was about to make, though because Bonds is such a whiny dildo you'd have thought he'd be all over it like The Cream on his elbow.

Olney said, and I quote: "It's interesting because (threats and racially-charged hate mail) are exactly what Hank Aaron had to deal with. It's the same thing."

Well, if that isn't the most incredibly stupid thing you could have said, Buster. And I'm saying that even though you go by the name "Buster," which is like scolding a dog because he ate cat shit (stupid, but apparently delicious), or a retarded child because he stuck the fork in the power outlet, or Mary Cheney The Lesbian (TM) who happens to be a Republican and so apparently wants to have her pie and take it away, too. The point is: I know you're retarded, Buster Olney. But you don't have to make it so flipping obvious.

1. It's not "interesting." Lots of people get death threats, and lots of people get called "nigger" and lots of these people are professional athletes. It's mundane, at best.

2. And more importantly, Hank Aaron received hate mail and death threats 33 years ago because he was surpassing the greatest white baseball player of all time and reactionary white conservatives couldn't handle it.

Barry Bonds is getting hate mail and death threats because he, personally, is a repulsive human being, and because he is openly contemptuous of the law, his health and the health of others, and the game of baseball. And he thinks everyone but him is an idiot.

Bonds does not represent the black race, he is not on the cusp of some great social achievement, unless you think major league assholes need social validation so they can come out of hiding because, gee, we never see big fat assholes in public anymore. Nah, I think fraternities and the Republican Party pretty much cured that oversight.

But thanks, Buster Olney, for turning the tables on all of us who don't care for Barry Megaroid Bonds. Apparently Bonds' critics are "exactly" the same as racists 30 years ago, and Barry is now some fucking martyr to...something. You didn't really finish the thought, Buster. What did you think you were saying, or were you just talking out of your empty head?

Douche.