Dave Nonis is Stupid

I've never heard of this guy, but apparently he's the GM for Vancouver's NHL team. He thinks it's a "joke" that the NHL rules for rookie contracts don't allow their teams to enslave them for their entire careers and actually--if you can believe this--let them file for unrestricted free agency after SEVEN years.

Yes, seven (7). I know, I know: it's like the blink of an eye. I remember once when I got this piece of dirt stuck in my eye for 7 years...that was awful, but at least it was only seven years, so I barely even noticed it. Or, it's kind of like junior high and high school all rolled into one: you remember how short a period of time that was, right? Or how about the seven years or so that have passed since Bill Clinton was effectively President? It was just yesterday...

So, the example goes (back to hockey!), the Penguins have Crosby and Jordan Staal, 19 and 18 years old, respectively. When each turns 25--in consecutive seasons--they will be able to demand a huge payday from Pittsburgh or else they can get same from one of the other 29 teams in the league. If Pittsburgh pays up, they're bankrupt (it actually doesn't take a great prognosticator to foresee that--they're broke NOW); if they don't pony up, the two youngsters jump ship and go to a better team with deeper pockets, where they will make billions of dollars BWAAaaaa-hah-ha-haaaaa!!

Of course, that presupposes all of the following:

They turn out to actually be good players.

They don't have any injuries.

Or personal issues.

Or their careers weren't ended already.

Or Pittsburgh hasn't already traded them.

Or they want to file for free agency.

Or the goddamn NHL is even still in existence.

What a douchebag Dave Nonis is. And to think I just met him.