Twat? I Cunt Hear You

Gallaudet University is one of the leading higher education institutions for weird proto-fascist deaf people who insist on segregating themselves from the rest of humanity while earning a college degree.

Oh, I meant to write that it is a great place for those (handicapped martyrs) who can’t hear, to go and get a college degree without being stared at or taunted by crappy "normals" like myself.

No, wait. That’s not it. In fact, I played football against Gallaudet whilst in college, and let me say that they are the dirtiest bunch of dick-sucking cheap shot artists I have ever encountered…can’t hear the whistle, my ass! Late hit, bitch! And, their field had a nasty colony of yellow jackets living in it, so us ear-users got stung repeatedly in between late hit spearings from bulked-up, pissed-off deaf people. Faggots.

Anyway, apparently all is not well (Ha!) at Can’t Hear U (double Ha!): this week the university, in response to protests from students and faculty, decided to fire the newly-appointed president because she isn’t "deaf enough." No, I’m serious.

Apparently, the fact that for most of her life she lip-read and didn’t use sign language means she is a fucking "normal" like you and me and therefore she can’t possibly serve as an advocate for a bunch of hyper-demanding, fucked-in-the-head deaf people (who, did I mention, like to hit after the whistle during football games?). SHE'S NOT DEAF "ENOUGH"!

Look, dicks: I know you got a raw deal. And, I know you’re pissed off about it (I have the bruised kidney and the concussion to show for it). But, you are also acting like a bunch of assholes and, frankly, you’re wearing me out. This lady IS deaf; she IS an advocate for deaf people; she WANTS the job, despite the fact that the government (which provides a lot of your funding) found your university to actually be pretty suckass and have an abnormally (triple Ha!) low graduation rate (maybe because you goddamn people act like the world owes you something?). Maybe you should step back and reconsider this whole "Purity Of Essence" thing you got going here.

And, just so you know: you make me sick, with your "only deaf people can feel my pain!" bullshit. If that were true, then you would be restricted to only seeing, thinking, signing, and interpreting the work of other deaf people. Because, shit for brains, by your own logic people who can hear operate on another plane of consciousness and therefore YOU can’t understand US. Stop trying to steal MY culture, fucker! Everything that makes a sound belongs to ME!

Of course, we could all just agree to get along, but then you’d have to stop taking cheap shots and also stop eating your own. And that’s not what good little Nazis do, is it?