Where's the Rest of Me?

In other news, the woman who in 2004 got 44% of the vote against Henry Hyde, that intern-banging cum-swapper, didn’t get the Democratic endorsement this time around, despite the fact that Hyde is retiring and the candidate, Christine Cegelis, lives in the district.

Instead, Democratic rocket surgeons, true to form, put up an Army vet named Tammy Duckworth for the position. Duckworth has no political experience and doesn’t live in the district (almost all of her funding came from outside the district, too). She did not campaign, instead leaving that to the puppetmasters who threw her hat into the ring for her (really, it’s that much of a farce; read on): Dick Durbin and Barack Obama (whose stock in my eyes is falling with each party-line blowjob he slobs up for the DLC), who in turn got their orders from on high, somewhere in the vicinity of Howard Dean’s office.

Oh, what DOES Tammy Duckworth bring to her campaign? You might rather ask what she didn’t bring. Tammy Duckworth has no legs.

I shit you not. She lost them in Iraq.

But there were the shills, the pussy-hawks of the Left: (who else?) Hillary Clinton and John Kerry, offering up their support and their dignity to a novice candidate who helped push aside another Democrat who paid her dues. Throughout the campaign, her surrogates—or is it benefactors—were all over TV calling her a "war hero" and "the most qualified person (they) could think of." No explanation of what qualities she would bring to the job, exactly, or why not having legs anymore makes her a "hero."

No, it pretty much went like this: "Look, Tammy lost her legs in Iraq. Vote for her."

"But why? What does she know from politics?"

"She has NO LEGS…or didn’t you see that? Vote for her!"

"But, but, she’s unqualified! And you have a qualified candidate right over there!"

"Goddammit, Tammy didn’t LOSE HER LEGS IN IRAQ to have people question her! Now, I say she’s the candidate and I say go vote for her!! DO IT!! Or do you LOVE OSAMA? He’s over there right now, playing a drumset made entirely of American soldiers’ lost body parts, and he’s using Tammy’s legs for sticks! SHE HAS NO LEGS!! NO LEGS!! NOOOOO LEEEEEEGS!!!"

So, to recap: the Democratic Party, apparently having forgotten all about how Max Cleland—the legless vet from Georgia—lost to a smear campaign run by some faggot named Saxby Chambliss in 2000, has nominated an inexperienced puppet veteran with no legs to challenge for an open seat in a GOP district in which said puppet does not reside. In the process, the Democratic Party has alienated a stronger candidate who had a following in her district but was stripped of money and exposure by the betrayal of the DLC. This is the theme of these elections: Look, America! WE know some veterans, too! We still don’t have a coherent policy or any reasons you should vote for us, but we LOOOOOOVE us some veterans! Yessirreee!"

Tammy Duckworth won the nomination, by about 3 percentage points. Against a candidate who got no money, no support, therefore ran no campaign, and, unfortunately, has two legs. At least Christine Cegelis still has her health.