Hotpoint Range-top Stole the Ball!!

Of course, not every article in the Wall Street Journal is thought-provoking and insightful. How's that for a useless opening sentence? Today's front-page headline is "GE May Shed Storied Appliance Unit."

"Storied"? Ah yes: as a child, I would sit on my pappy's knee and be regaled with tales of that one time, when the Fighting 53rd, a paratrooper unit made up entirely of air conditioners, saved the world by spraying Nazis with freon during the Battle of the Bulge. Or how about when the New York Yankees were down by 2, bottom of the 9th, and Yogi Berra had shin splints so they had to use their last position player, a young appliance fresh from the factory named "GE" Self-cleaning Electric Oven, and he never took the bat off his burners and got hit on the side and thus brought in the winning run? Of course, nobody mentions that he wound up in the scratch-and-dent leagues, for far less money, but that stove's legend lives on! Everybody knows about the 1985-86 Chicago Bears and their legendary defensive lineman, William "The Refrigerator" Perry, but not many remember that the 6-foot tall, 350-pound Perry was, in fact, and actual refrigerator.

Ah, storied GE appliances. We'll miss you.