Fuck You, Jon Stewart

Does anyone still watch the Daily Show with Jon Stewart? Tell me, is it for the interviews where he sucks off this week's "Republican voice of reason," or do you read Playboy for the articles?

I'm out. TDS, as well as The Colbert Report, are off my must watch list (TDS has been in the shitter since the Bill O'Reilly interview years ago). Why? Let me explain:

Jon Stewart, two weeks ago, had a short piece about the Civil War In The Democratic Party, which was essentially cribbed from either Obama campaign releases or ABC News' tattered defense of the indefensible, to wit: media coverage of the primaries. Stewart regurgitated mass media talking points, including but not limited to, "Hillary Clinton cannot win," "Obama is forging a New Democratic Coalition," "Hillary should drop out," "Party leadership should stay out of it," "The voters have spoken," "Obama has won/can win/will win, despite any opinion to the contrary...which is coming from traitors, liars, fascist asshole old-guard Democrats and Republican saboteurs," and my favorite, "Hillary Clinton's campaign is Destroying The Democratic Party!"

Now, besides the fact that such declarations sound stupid, are stupid, make you look stupid, smack of conspiracy and anything but "Hope" (TM); Jon Stewart might have considered that in saying such things he is repeating precisely what ABC, FOX, CNN, and MSNBC have already said. Yes, Jon: you are now one of the "bright boys" of the mainstream media.

Stephen Colbert, immediately following the Stewart capitulation, devoted his "The Word" segment to, and see if this seems familiar, how Hillary Clinton's campaign was/is/continues to Destroy The Democratic Party. Accepting no logic or nuance, Colbert has been for some weeks now pumping Obama openly and without shame. He argued a few days ago that those who doubt Obama can win the general election are somehow undermining democracy because, in his own words, "Obama got more popular votes" and so, you see, he MUST be the winner!

Stephen, you disingenuous prick, why don't you tell that to Al Gore? Send a prayer-letter to Grover Cleveland and Samuel Tilden while you're at it, you fucking moron.

Stephen Colbert apparently recognizes no differences between primaries and general elections; does he believe in electoral votes? Can he read a map, and if so, has he noticed that, with the exception of Illinois, Obama has carried mostly states that will never, ever, ever go for a Democrat in a general election? Has he thought about this?

More importantly, what is his beef with the Clinton campaign? Would he be attacking John Edwards if Edwards had chosen (as he considered doing) to continue until the convention, in order to make a point and direct debate towards poverty issues? The notion that delaying the coronation--Obama supporters' fondest dreams--of the nominee somehow harms the Democrats' chances in November is unsupported by ANY evidence whatsoever, save for the hot air coming from the mouths of journalists who have nothing else to do, apparently, except make shit up.

And that's the whole point of this post, really. The Daily Show and The Colbert Report used to be essentially viewing for people like me, those who were incredibly angry and had no outlet, no media that spoke for us. But, both shows seem to have wholeheartedly embraced the Obama wave, and that's fine, as long as it's clear up front. But they have not come out and said, "this show is stumping for Obama, by the way," and so instead every episode is a Hillary-bashing by two comedians who have made themselves very important to people like me, while they pretend they're not carrying water for Obama. That is an insult to viewers' intelligence.

Moreover, it isn't right. The worst thing I can think to say about either Jon Stewart or Stephen Colbert is that they are no better than the major media outlets covering the campaign. In fact, both have used clips from CNN, MSNBC, and even FOX (FOX, for Christ's sake!) to support their attacks on Clinton. Excuse me, guys, but if you're reporting the same thing as the major media, then why on earth do I need you? You want to shovel shit on a Democrat (only one, in particular, too)? I already saw that movie: it was called Ken Starr. It was called Swift Boat Veterans for Truth. It was called Maureen Dowd, AKA Chris Matthews, AKA Bob Novak, AKA George W. Bush. What's your fucking problem? Do you just not get how this works? I think you don't. So, you don't get to be on my TV anymore. Piss off.

And finally, for all the Obama people out there: yes, your guy is winning and almost certainly will win the nomination. But when he does, the pressure's on you. You assholes had better show up in November, in record numbers, everywhere. If he loses, it's your fault. All the bullshit you're talking right now will be your epitaph if you don't stop the crybaby act and do some hard work--so far, I have seen nothing to suggest that Obama supporters, in general, have the faintest clue how to lay the groundwork for a massive voter turnout. The candidate seems like he's got it down just fine; too many of his biggest fans come off as naive, flaky dumbasses. A little pragmatism, dare I say, wouldn't hurt: I'm for Clinton, but I always vote the right way--maybe because I live in a place called "reality"--and I'll pull the lever marked "D" come November, no matter who it is.