Politics 101

ABC News reports, you deci...no, actually, they just say stuff and maybe you'll think up some meaning on your own, or maybe not. They don't care. Whatever. Look, they know a whole lot of extra stuff about every story, like who's got a hidden agenda, who needs publicity most, what the, you know, facts are; but ABC News isn't telling YOU that! Figure it out on your own, lazybones! This is why people think Americans are dumb when it comes to politics. I mean, you people won't even go out and do reporters' jobs for them, while they sit around and get paid to just make shit up, or write about nothing at all. Christ, what do you people want?!

Here's a thought, sorta, from Jake Tapper (which is also the name of a prominent gay porno actor, or at least it should be): it concerns the very mundane observation that Obama is being cited as a "crazy radical" in Republican campaign ads for his "reeee-donkulous!" healthcare plan (don't look at me; that's actual Republican campaign text...apparently they heard that's what the hateful, racist, white, future-business-owners-of-America-in-need-of-tax-breaks are saying).

All Jake Tapper can offer is the beyond-lame cliche "that was then, this is now," with regards to Obama's previous popularity and this apparent belief by Republicans that his name will sink other, local Democratic candidates. Jake, you dumb fuck, you missed the point, which is that Republicans are making a baseless claim in hopes of fooling stupid people into voting the way Republicans want. But, hey, don't look at reporters like Jake Tapper for even that obvious bit of information.

And, certainly, don't look for Tapper to go any further. This is basic, basic politics and it comes straight from the national party. "Obama" and "crazy healthcare plan" are not often phrases that go together; in fact, most Democrats consider Obama's plan to be rather mainstream and sort of weak, especially compared to, say, Clinton's plan. So, in like the first day of poli sci class, we learned that a good way to kill a plan being put forth by a candidate is to just keep saying it's extreme until people believe that and vote against that candidate. This is especially good if, as in Obama's case, he is competing for the nomination with someone pushing a healthcare plan, say, that's actually radical (mandatory). Why? Politics 101: defeat the moderate plan, that would really hurt your fatcat donors, in the primaries, by calling its advocate a wild-eyed radical, and then even if the other Democrat wins, her healthcare plan is so much further left that it will never pass.

Thanks for your help, Jake. You fucking pathetic dumb ass. Send me your paycheck.