Rapture Now!

Great:

Mike Huckabee is somehow surging in the polls (at least, the relevant ones at this early stage of the game--you know, that super-important state's polls: Iowa. It's the heartland.) and may even be elected someday.

But, he's also a believer in the Rapture (which is not a Biblical doctrine, but hey, it's not like Huckabee is an expert on scripture or anything, right?) and has picked up an endorsement from that jizz-swilling queen who wrote the "Left Behind" book series.

Which begs the question: what if Mike Huckabee were our president and the Rapture did happen? Poof! All the white lambs are safely tucked away and the rest of us are left to fend for ourselves (that sounds sort of like our current social welfare policies, actually). But, the disappeared includes our president. What to do?

It's clear that, just to be on the safe side, Mike Huckabee needs to choose an extremely ethical atheist for his running mate. Or, I guess, a Jew, but he may first want to ask Al Gore how that worked out for him. Buddhists, Muslims, and Vegans need not apply.

The ethical atheist plan ensures the United States will be in capable hands after President Huckabee links up with the Jesus Tractorbeam. Or, when he goes completely nuts and takes a big group of like-minded fucktards out into the desert to wait for the magic bus to Heaven.