What Hath Comm Wrought?

You all read Fire Joe Morgan like you mainline snark, right? So no doubt you've seen this piece on Stephen A. Smith, the "commentator" for ESPN whose "comments" are overlong lessons in tortured logic and grammar. Please read the entry from FJM and, if you can stand it, the whole piece by Smith himself. And then, contemplate for a moment that this man has a college degree and makes a lot of money simply speaking on television and writing a twice-weekly column for the Philadelphia Inquirer. He receives a (large) check for speaking and, occasionally, writing his thoughts, apropos of little, about any facet of sports. And he really, really sucks at both of those things. Based on the FJM excerpts, it isn't clear that English is Smith's first language (or that he ever learned it). If you've seen him on TV, you could be forgiven for thinking that he wandered over from a revival meeting and is using that age-old suckering device, machine-gun patter spiked with drawn-out, multi-syllabic words, to hide the fact that he doesn't have the first clue about sports, conversation, punditry, the color of the sky, or how to lace his own shoes. The man, in short, is an idiot.

And yet, there he is. What possible excuse does anyone have to not finish college, after seeing Smith and his stunningly profitable ineptitude? Look, teenagers everywhere: the only difference between you and Stephen A. Smith is a B.A. from Winston-Salem State University. That sentence should tell you all you need to know about "higher education" in this country and the futility of trying.