Why the Idiots Will Never Win

Read this. Then, tear your hair out, rend your clothing, and pull your teeth. It's that bad.

This is an article on the morality of the left in this country. Unlike the afore-linked article, I actually believe, and suggest that you also believe, in an unequivocal notion of "right" and "wrong". Unlike the article at Democratic Underground (a site I quite like), my suggestions are not for the eggheads and weak fags among us. I do not believe in moral relativism or in using Phil Donahue (it's in the article, go look!!) as an example of how life is "so, like, totally relative, man, like, really! Cool!"

Put plainly, I believe in "right" and "wrong" and I think these are not abstract concepts beyond the grasp of the majority. In fact, I think the majority--call them uneducated, call them lumps, call them peas and carrots, as my dad used to say--could tell you and me exactly what I mean by the terms, without all this pseudo-intellectual justifying of the unjustifiable; to whit: a self-respecting person cannot claim that all order is relative. In short, it makes said person a tool and a fucking righteous object of ridicule. If more Democrats would run on the slogan "It Ain't Right!" then we would win a whole lot more races in 2006. See, the average 'Murikan knows right from wrong and doesn't need the fancy explanation shithead from DU provides in his article. Therein lies our greatest strength and weakness.

The problem with relativism is, well, that it's relative. Please forgive the preciousness of that sentence, but it was necessary to convey the proper contempt I have for this subject. We, as a political movement, will never go anywhere as long as we stand for nothing. And dipshit at DU (I didn't bother to read his name) has just decided that relativism is going to win over the masses. News flash, fuckstump: we want clear instructions, not "do as thou wilt"!

Now, the point of the author seems to be to undermine religion, and he has such a hard-on for that task that he cannot acknowledge that 1. western philosphy, moral and legal, is built on the Bible and 2. there's plenty in the Good Book worth keeping, even if it's only to poke your enemy in the eye to see the spurting blood.

To that end, we need to appropriate, not repudiate, Christianity; it ought to be put to work for its intended use (I read the fucking Bible, I'm pretty sure I understand this part): to invoke the universal tenets of love, peace, and mutual improvement. Could it be any more clear? Where's the relativist wiggle room in that?

In 2006, the Democrats need an evangelical candidate in every race; Jesus Christ is our guy, not theirs, goddammit!! Stop surrendering the entire fucking field, you running cunt Democrats!! Get in there and fight!! Christianity provides the only moral critique of capitalism that still has traction in the United States!! Yes, I'm drunk, but this makes perfect sense to me. Am I alone on this??!