The Sporting News

Here's an update from the world of balls, pucks, and athletic supporters:

On CNN/SI.com:

1. WNBA MVP Swoopes: "I'm Gay", Lesbians everywhere Unaware She was Keeping it a Secret

WNBA non-viewer Josh: "I knew that, and I don't even watch your sport"
Or, alternatively:
"Is there any way to combine the letters in WNBA, LPGA, WPBA, WTA, and so on, to spell 'RUG MUNCH'?"

2. Bulls' Duhon Carried Off Floor on Stretcher , Cries like Bitch, Asks for Mama

Awesome! Take THAT, Duke's chances of ever having a Hall of Fame NBA player! Sweeeet!!
Or, alternatively:
Bobby Hurley: car accident. Jason Williams: motorcycle accident. Grant Hill: chronic ankle injury. Christian Laettner: missing brain. Danny Ferry: sounds like "fairy". Elton Brand: plays for the Clippers or something. Shane Battier: wrinkled, alien head; also, sits on the bench a lot. Chris Duhon: possibly dead (?--didn't read the article).

JJ Redick: welcome to your (short) NBA career. Bitch.

3. Coach Gay--I mean, K--to Lead US Team in Olympics

Run for your life, Kevin Garnett! This is the man produced Corey Maggette, who's either trying to be the world's clumsiest assclown or else he's trying to commit insurance fraud.