Revolutionary Condiments

The real problem with capitalism isn't class conflict. It isn't oppression. It isn't unbridled, rampant greed. It's the stark reality that capitalism turns everthing into a This Is Spinal Tap caricature of itself. (See: Hell's Angel's Leathers, Harley Davidson, Green Day, Che Lives shirts at the vanilla suburbistan mall (and no, he doesn't, he's quite dead).

The San Francisco Chronicle reports that former Black Panthers have unleashed a new business venture: revolutionary barbeque sauce: Burn Baby Burn. Revolutionary Proletarian Condiments, hot damn! Where do I sign up! I wanna change the world and feed the poor with nitrates and sodium and lycopene! Now, this is understandable - ever one of us would bite the chance to get rich off exploiting whatever social movement we could.

But if you really want to be a fucktard, try to philosophize your product:

"I guess I want to celebrate the history and to let people know the actual facts of the Black Panther Party and how some of these programs are woven in today, like free breakfast programs and the call for free health care, " she said.

"It's not about violence, but the hot sauce will remind people of the rebellion in Watts and how the slogan came about," Hilliard said. "But this is an emphasis on using some of the revenue used by our hot sauce to educate."

Yeah, when I'm eatin mah chicken, I'm thinkin "hey, remember when we hated black people? Didn't that suck? And when our society treated poor children like dirty dogs - oh wait, pass the hot sauce, this barbeque is bland - Watts up with that?" Damn, I'm learnin me so much from these condiments. This is real history, right here - almost as informative as the Let's Orgasm Over Hitler and Hiroshima While Feigning Disgust Channel, aka History Channel. And please pass the vinegar, cause everbuddy knows that jebus only eats eastern nawth carlina bbq, with jesse helms at his side and a buzz*oven record on the player.