I Hate Freedom, Too

It's always seemed like childish gibberish to me, but now I know its genius: when the President says that "the turr'ists hate us for our freedoms" (see?? it still sounds stupid, even when you understand it!), what he really means is: "we have to destroy all them freedoms, so we can get the turr'ists to stop hating us." Really, I'm sure that's it. Just like the shitheel at the Fourth of July fireworks who insists on singing "Only in America" (definitely without irony), so we have been annoying the fuck out of all the other countries on earth with our "free press" and "independent judiciary" and "free speech" and "free choice" and "open political dialogue." I mean, if God wanted us to have the freedom to do what we want to, without inteference from a higher authority, he would have given us free will! But he didn't, and so neither can our governme...oh, wait. He did give us free will. Huh. Well, moving on, then...

So the end result is, the Republicans are actually men of peace, not hate and death and evil. They want world peace. And the way to get it is to remove the thing that makes our enemies hate us: our freedom. Of course, it could just be a case of some ignorant fucktard in the White House shitting all over our Constitution for his and his cronies' personal gain. But that seems farfetched.

Sign me up for a two year hitch at Gitmo! Hoo-haaaah!!