Our Fireworks Are Bigger

Tomorrow we all gonna celebrate our independence by drinkin Milwaukee's Best Light* (made by a South African company, but it's still the best shitty beer ever) and shooting off fireworks made by the Chi-Coms. The irony is just delicious.

But us capitalist 'mericans, we're throwing a multi-million dollar spacecraft into a ten mile wide comet at 23,000 miles an hour tomorrow. Won't look like much from here, being that it's 83 million miles away, but I'm pretty sure this means that we still have the biggest proverbial dick of any nation-state ever. Hell, even I can be jingoistic for one day of the year.

Plus, we need science like this. During the ten seconds of the Live 8 program I caught yesterday, Kanye West asserted that 1) the government invented crack to break up the BPP, and 2) the govt. invented HIV to kill Africans. Having spent time in an African village where nearly everbuddy had AIDS and all the cattle had hoof and mouth disease, I gotta say that's the dumbest conspiracy theory I've ever heard - a level of grandiosity that even Chomsky, I doubt, would attempt. Let the scientists research the AIDS issue before you pop off with some bullshit, okay? So, NASA, next time we sling an 800 pound copper slug at a comet, let's strap some fucktard pop stars to the leading edge of it.

*Yes, the "Beast" is good beer. 'Tis an acquired taste, to be sure, and if you disagree, you're a bourgeois sympathizer in much need of a long sit down with the new Clutch record and a gool 'ol fashioned ass kickin.
_____________________

heh. that's "good" not "gool." maybe milwaukee's best ain't such a good idea after all . . . see, this is what happens when workers get a three day weekend. it's like when they gave holidays to the slaves and they got trashed . . .