Apparently it really IS rocket surgery

Astronomers have "discovered" a 10th planet, according to the Chicago Tribune (though it's unclear how you discover something that's older than you are).

Fundamentalist Christians dispute scientists' claims to have found the newest official member of our solar system, saying that the Bible revealed long ago that there were many more than nine planets--since no "intelligent designer" would have made a 9-planet system. "It's unbalanced," said true believer and avid mouthbreather Derrell Hapler of the Intelligent Design Research Center in Modesto, CA. "What kind of God would make an odd number of planets? I mean, if every planet was either male or female, that would leave one without a mate--how would that work--there's no gays or threesomes in the solar system." Mr. Hapler is apparently unaware of Greek and Roman mythology, in which the planets are sexed and Pluto, or Hades, attempted to take as his bride Persephone, human and daughter of the goddess of the Spring, Demeter.

Be that as it may, according to the actual article in the Tribune (ie, this is something I'm not making up), the unnamed planet shines so brightly that "an amateur stargazer could have spotted it years ago."

And THESE are some of the same people Bush wants to give more money to so we can go to Mars? They can't even find a fucking planet that's visible with the naked eye.