The Greatest American Hero

Lance Armstrong lost an appeal in Britain to keep a newspaper from publishing an article about his steroid use. Um, "alleged" steroid use. Doesn't matter--the modifier doesn't protect anyone from getting sued. Um, "alleged" modifier. "Allegedly."

Why didn't we hear about this during the Tour de France--especially since the book about Lance's doping was written by a Frenchman? Oh, yeah: because we're a nation of chest-thumping idiots who would rather see a doper do something amazing than a normal athlete perform to the best of his abilities. You hit that ball, Barry! RIDE that cycle, Lance! RUN that 100-meters really fast, generic black man with huge diamond stud earring!! You are what the USA is all about!

"Believe it or not, it's just meeeee...um, I mean 'bovine growth hormone and meeeeeee'. Oops."