Thursday, January 20, 2005

The City that Spits

Chicago has three defining features to its citizenry. One is that they are all singularly uninquisitive about the world around them. Whether it's the South, West, or Midwest in general, or a beautiful sunshiny afternoon or a picturesque snowstorm, Chicagoans couldn't give less of a shit about it. They would apparently prefer to sit in traffic or drive to any enclosed space (like a box store or chain restaurant). What gives?
Second is that everyone smokes. Even I noticed it, and I'm from North Carolina, a state that produces more tobacco per square foot of land than any place on earth. Really, these fuckers up here smoke like chimneys. Just from walking down the sidewalk, behind and by these cigarette fiends, I think I now qualify as a smoker myself. No wonder there are so many respiratory ailments here.
Lastly, just about evry person in this town spits.
Now, I have seen and even done some pretty disgusting things; still do. But, I don't spit. When I played baseball, it made good sense to. One might get a mouthful of dirt; or for instance, one might reason that that tobacco juice wasn't going to expel itself without some expectoracious assistance. (is that even a word? fuck it.) But in mixed (and polite) company, IN PUBLIC, it is a disgusting, subhuman thing to do. Particularly in a big city, where kids could step in it, bums could fall in it, animals could eat it, shoes, brooms, and pushcarts could roll through it...continue on at your own risk. I'm getting nauseous.
I have seen people unintentionally spit on each other. I have seen people spit indoors and outdoors, on the el and on the bus and in the grocery store. I have seen a cop arrest a guy for spitting on him. I have seen someone spit on a mounted cop's horse, causing it to run out in traffic. I have seen nuns spit, professors spit, city employees spit (and then sweep it up). It's incredibly foul.
The most striking thing about it is that not one person has ever, in my earshot, said a fucking thing to anyone about this.

And now it's snowing. Come Spring, there'll be two equally disturbing things thawing on every sidewalk in town: dogshit and loogies.