The Worst Library in the World

The Chicago Public Library is the worst in America, if not anywhere.

You may check out materials for 3 weeks at a time, although you must catch the library during one of its rare "open" times. The main branch closes at 4:30 pm on Fridays, because as everyone knows, nobody reads on the weekends. And just in case you wanted to check out a book on the way to work, the library doesn't open until 9:30 on weekdays.

The best part of the library's "website" (which I hesitate to even call a website since it barely functions and contains no useful information whatsoever) is that when you search for a book you don't get the call number, but rather the collection it's in (social science, business, history, etc.). For the call number, you have to open two more pages. It's fucking brilliant, if you're trying to keep people from ever using your library.

Today's discovery is that you cannot renew books online. In fact, you cannot renew books over the telephone even. No, you have to go in person to the library and speak to a librarian about renewal. The big question, of course, is "do I have to have the book with me?" or at least that's what the library's online FAQ page seems to think. Attention, you fucking retards: that's not the #1 question that springs to mind when I find that the nation's 3rd largest city has a library that requires patrons to commute downtown to renew a book. I am not befuddled and wondering "hmmm, should I take the book with me? I mean, if I'm going to be physically present, maybe the book has to be, too?"

My only real question is, "given that the likelihood of me using your library ever again is absolutely nil, should I keep this book or should I write down all my complaints in the margins and read them aloud to the desk staff, manifesto-style?" adding only, "Bitch."