Blarg

Roll your pants leg down if you hate bicyclists. Take the self-righteousness of a vegan and the vacuousness of a 12 year-old anarchist (sorry to be redundant), and you have a cyclist. Not to be confused with those persons who ride a bicycle for fun, exercise, or out in the vast wasteland of the American prairie (like that fly-ass bitch from the Wizard of Oz, who I hear has her own musical now...that's what we were all thinking as kids: "get out the way, you fucking dirtfucker from Kansas! I'm try'na peep me that fine green-faced skank!").

Look, urban cyclists: do you want to share the road or not? You're always opening up your bleeding vaginas and spewing on about how you need to be respected, how you're better than everybody else because of your mode of transportation, and how everybody else is a choade.

Well, assholes, here's how the road works: to be on it, you need to be a car. Travelling 35 miles per hour. Using a turn signal. Staying in your own lane, on the road, not on the shoulder, sidewalk, or straddling two lanes. And most of all, you need to observe and obey all traffic signals.

Actually, for bicyclists, that's the law. You want to be treated like a car, act like one. When I pass you, legally, in the other lane and then stop at a red light, you don't ride up on the curb and run the light. That is illegal and you are a fuck hole for doing it. When I have kids, they will have paintball guns to redress this offense.

By the way, this is a ticketable offense: