Everything is Great! And Now, Back to the War...

Yahoo! News (which falls further and further in my esteem every day) reports that the CIA is shrewdly exploiting ethnic rifts within al-Qaeda to splinter the group and help win the war on turra. (It's so odd how the "war on drugs" has become an afterthought since 2001. How pissed those rightwing fuckheads at the National Office of Drug Control Policy must be!)

Never mind for a second that there is no real proof that a singular entity called "al-Qaeda" ever existed. Never mind that there is absolutely no way to know that what the CIA says is true. Never mind that the White House will take credit for any and all slivers of positive news coming from the Middle East (even if it has to invent them), while dodging the flood of bad news. If a fucking comet fell to earth tomorrow, crushing bin Laden in his secret hiding place, the Republicans would attribute it to Bush's wonderful emissions policy, which allowed obscene levels of CO2 into the atmosphere, thereby thickening it, which slowed the comet's descent such that it was able (you know, as the hand of God and all) to smite our strawman.

The worst part is, the American media still slurps down the daily WH jizz reports, as Yahoo! notes: the AP wants us all to remember that the CIA also "captured" the "#3 al-Qaeda" guy, al-Libbi, a few days ago. Problem is, they have the wrong guy. Either that, or they can't read their own press releases, which declared that they caught him over two years ago. Did he get early release?

Why is anyone buying a story with a big fat hole right in the middle of it?

To complicate matters even more, allow me to suggest a novel theory: "ethnic dissension" among people who hate America is irrelevant to the fact that they hate America. Despite what the AP would say, I doubt that Iraqis, Syrians, Saudis, and others are going to run into the arms of the US simply because they hate each other. Even if they did, what's to hold them there or keep them from surreptitiously undermining America? Does the name "bin Laden" mean anything here?

Anyway, we are fucked.