Headline: "Cardinals Draw Lots for Hotel Rooms"

I know, I know. Also not being a Catholic, I thought it was a baseball headline, too. And then I thought, "Who the fuck would want to go to Busch Stadium to see the Cardinals?"

But, it turns out that the cardinals in Rome are drawing lots to see who gets to sleep in that holiest of hostels, um...OK some damn hotel John Paul had built at fabulous expense so the electors could kick back while electing the new pope. Apparently, the old burlap-and-thumbtack chairs were a mit(r)e uncomfortable.

I suppose they could share rooms. I mean, the new rule is that cardinals over 80 don't get to vote anyway, so it's basically a young man's sausage-fest over there...