The Non-Workingman's Library

This month's runner-up for Worst Library Ever is, appropriately, the Harold Washington main branch public library downtown. While certainly beautiful on the outside, the building houses (if you could get inside to see it) some really lousy collections, staffed by unfriendly people, surrounded by uninspired, blank walls. It's bad enough that patrons have to go to the 3rd floor just to get to the circulation desk, but then to have books grouped by discipline ("oh, you want Foucault? Let me see, is that floor 6, social science, or floor 8, humanities and philosophy?"...apparently, theory is a social science, as is history, in this parallel library dimension. Bizarre.)...I mean, damn why can't you be a little bit helpful?

The best (or worst) part is that, when you look up a book on one of the few computers not being used to ogle internet porno, you are met with a password screen--on a public computer that's only supposed to access the card catalog! What on earth would you need a password for?! Hostile takeover attempt from that least-expected point, the card catalog???!!

Then, if you get in and search for your book, what the computer returns is a screen with the title, author, and a little acronym that tells you (now, you might guess I'm about to say "call number" or "where to find the book." Jesus, have you never been to this library?) whether or not the book is on the shelf.

It doesn't tell you where the book is. Just that it's there. Where? Exactly.

If you want to know the call number (and, my fucking Christ, why would you not?), you have to find the obscure link to "full record"--and usually you'll find out that "on the shelf" and "in the library" are not the same. The book I wanted was returned almost a month ago; it's still "in transit to the shelf." Is it walking itself there??! Assholes!!

Finally, this is a "public" library that opens its doors at 9 AM and closes at 4 on Fridays. Now, who is available from 9-4 every day? The homeless, the unemployed, a few students, old people, and, apparently, cops. That's the clientele of the Harold Washington. There's nothing--I repeat, not one damn thing--wrong with that, by the way. I just wish the working stiffs in Chicago could get to the library sometime; you know, self-edify; get to the bottom of knowledge; shit like that. In this town, they don't have a fucking chance. No wonder we're all so stupid.


Vote Daley!