Don't Eat at Chaim's

Have you ever read the Book of Leviticus? You should--it's the foundational text for most of the hateful shit that comes out of religious people's mouths. Bonus: it's short.

Leviticus is some stone age shit; it comes third in most Bibles, after Genesis and Exodus. It is named for the Levites, or Hebrew priests, and details their rules of conduct and behavior generally. My 1963 Methodist Publishing House (it must be busy!) Bible says parts of Leivitcus were written in 600 BC during the Babylonian captivity (seems a dubious claim), but the book was not finished for more than 200 years, at about the time Genesis and the other Old Testament books were being assembled.

A very good question is why anybody gives a second thought to the Old Testament at all; after all, Christ's death on the lower-case "t" wiped out all our problems, right? And, since we are putatively His disciples--that is, "Christians"--Mike has made an excellent point, which is that we are not Hebrews, or Levites, or any other sect that has any reason to feel bound by the rules set forth in Leviticus.

Some might say, as the Methodist Publishing House introduction of 1963 did, that sayings from Leviticus (like "Love thy neighbor as thyself" (19:18)) are "as good today as when it was first given to the people." But others would counter that nobody needs a 2400-year-old saying to know that they're supposed to be nice. Still others might say that such a notion smacks of socialism (well, duh! Jesus was a total communist subversive...read the Bible!), and that in our day and age we owe no such thing to society. Naturally, people who take that last tack, at least in their actions if not their phony platitudes, are capitalist, Republican, white, affluent Americans in the main.

And besides "giving" the people instructions to "love thy neighbor," Leviticus also instructs them to stone others to death for offenses ranging from accidents (a stranger eating sacred food), to misspeaking (blasphemy; Lev. 24:13), to bestiality, to adultery. Leviticus also contains the second "eye for an eye" passage of the Old Testament (24:20).

But if you really read the damn thing, it isn't so ghastly as you might think.

Mainly, it is an ancient health code. Most of the instructions seem to be straightforward plans to prevent food poisoning (e.g., don't eat meat that's been laying out for more than 3 days; don't eat shellfish, which spoil easily), the spread of germs (don't touch clean things with unclean hands, and vice-versa), and the stain of blood--which clearly they thought was a carrier of infection.

The significance of blood for the Hebrews seems very important. Menstruating women were not to be seen, touched, or given the sweet, sweet ministrations of the disciples of the god Fornicatos. All animals were to be drained of blood entirely before being eaten. And so on.

Of course, everyone knows the most famous passage from Leviticus, the one upon which its reputation as a hateful text is founded, verse 20:13: "If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall be put to death, their blood is upon them."

So God hates fags right? It could be read that way--if by God, you mean "the deity of Levites 2600-2400 years ago," and if you're willing to overlook the strong possibility that over the course of hundreds of translations many parts of our modern Bible have become garbled or changed completely, and if you accept that the Bible is totally direct in its meaning, and also if you like to pick-and-choose from among rules written for wholly different religions that have no connection whatsoever to our modern Christianity, and...well, so forth.

As for the "abomination," Leviticus also says this: "But anything in the seas or the rivers that has not fins and scales...is an abomination to you." (11:10) Also abominations: some birds (11:13-19); most insects (11:20-23); most reptiles and amphibians (11:29-31); anything forbidden animals touch (11:32); and all "swarming creatures" (11: 41). There are more. Look them up. "Abomination" was to the Levites what "like" or "awesome" are to us: everything was, like, awesomely abominable back then.

I think, though, that the connection of "blood" holds the probable root of the instruction not to have gay sex. As Rictor Norton pointed out, to the early gay culture in Europe fellatio was almost unheard of--it was all buggery. Likely, 600-400 BC, gay sex was also mainly of the anal variety. To be blunt: when you fuck somebody in the ass, they bleed. It's noticeable.

So if you were to think about the rules in Leviticus a little bit...hmmm...maybe, just maybe, a rational person would conclude that the Hebrews had a hangup with blood. They didn't like it, not in their food, not in their women's vaginas, not on their persons--and so not on their dicks and asses, either. Every condemned person was said to "have blood upon them."

Verses 17:10-11: "If any man of the house of Israel or any of the strangers that sojourn among them eats any blood, I will set my face against that person who eats blood and will cut him off from among his people. For the life of the flesh is in the blood; and I have given it for you upon the altar to make atonement for your souls..."

I'm no fancy big city theologian, so I can't say why that's so significant to the Levites and the Hebrews, but it would appear far, far more plausible that what they were trying to do was forbid any practices that led to exposure to blood than to argue without context or evidence that God said homos are bad.

If you want to go that route, He also said that adulterers were to be stoned to death--are you listening, Religious Right? Not to mention, you're so fucked if you like rare steaks...