The Only Thing Worse

The only thing worse than being a lonely loser is probably to be that same loser but friendless in a much larger setting. Enter "that thing": the internet("s" if you're a dumbass).
Have you ever tried the "Next Blog" tab at the top right? Do it and then come back.

Like what you saw? What was it, Spanish gibberish? Nordic yammering? California self-love? Utter crap? Terrible beauty?

No. What you probably got was a site of truly "meh"-gnificent stature. Look, most people can't speak, let alone write, but the blog makes it OK to be a moron. This blog, in fact, was the product of idiot-proof Blogger, Inc., TM & Co. And I am not cyber-savvy.

The thing I wanted you to see, though, was NOT the truly crappy level of discourse on the 44 billion blogs out there.

It was the comments.

There were none, were there? That's correct, folks: you can now shout your loneliness into the void, and the void doesn't even have the decency to answer back. We have truly reached the ultimate in subjectivity; for you can tell yourself, in the absence of proof to the contrary, that you are the only person on earth who gives a shit what you think. Irony is the existence of the optimal medium for mass communication in which nobody cares what anyone else has to say. You are putting out very private ideas for a potential audience of billions--think about it.

The blog, in theory, is a chance to get into another person's beady little brain (even if that brain is as banal as network TV) and crawl around. At its best, that's what the internet does for human interaction, and it's something that books, music, and movies cannot promise to do so directly or so well.

And still they are there. Page after page after page after page of blogs with zero comments. Does self-absorption prevent suicide?