The Real Problem

This review of the new movie, "Away We Go" (oh so cute), written by Dave Eggers and his concubine, tries to walk the line between dissatisfaction and critical detachment, but staggers off course somewhere.

I think the real problem with this film is that it was written by the beast with two navels, Dave & Vendela, and is about "Burt & Verona" -- nope, don't see any problems yet -- which is to say, it's a movie about the two people who wrote the movie. That is a hell of a problem, and if movie tickets in Sausalito cost $15 each, then this film better gross $75, since Dave & Vendela will no doubt see it twice as a couple and then Dave will go back with one of their cats and see it again. But no one else in America should be asked to give two fucks about these simpletons and their perfect, icky love. I don't know anything about Vendela Vida, but if she fucks Dave Eggers then she is at least partly responsible for his tedious, jackoff products.

You know how people used to say stupid things like "in a few years, we'll look back and laugh"? Well, my fondest wish is that, in a few weeks, we'll all think about this movie and then have to run, not walk, to the nearest receptacle and take a big, runny shit thinking about this piece of "art," a shit that only loosely captures the utter stink rolling off this whole concept. And with any luck, there'll be a Dave Eggers book nearby to wipe with.