Listmania

It would be one thing, I suppose, if lists were a fad, and mainstream organs cranked out lists of the "Top Ten" something or other in a short span, such that it flared up and died with the same sugary intensity as a science lab experiment: once to be seen, never to be replicated--like the Spice Girls.

But goddamn; everybody has a motherfucking list these days. AFI (Ass Fuckers' Institute? Really, what does "AFI" stand for?) has multiple lists of the "best 100 films" (memo to them: you are stupid). Some irrelevant concern, whose acronym, or initialism, or name has escaped me has a list of the best books; innumerable, miserable organizations rank ridiculous trivia into levels of meaninglessness that only CNN could love enough to broadcast to middle America.

Anyway, this is all to say that I'm going to rank my ten least favorite books of all-time. Mark the calendar. Something wicked this way comes.