Larger Uniforms Needed

Move over, Tim Spooneybarger. Fuck off, John Van Benschoten. Jimmy Barthmaier? Get bent.

There's a new name in MLB: Henricus Vanden Hurk. My new favorite player--never pitched above single-A and the Florida Marlins are throwing him to the wol...that is, "giving him 2 starts" this week.

Tune in just to see how the team manager "managed" to fit all the letters on the back of the jersey. It's only 10 characters, but you have to have a space. Does he double-space it, and stack the two names, or does he go for the "Spooneybarger rainbow," like the Braves opted to do?

Example (Hey--Spooney played for the Marlins, too!):




If it were me--just saying--I would just stitch "Hurk" on there. And then I would have the PA play "Hurk MAD!!" everytime he took the field.

Come to think of it, it may be worth watching his first start to behold a 6-and-a-half-foot-tall Aryan Superman reduced to tears by a bunch of diminutive Dominicans with quick bats.