Bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb Iran

This is a repeat post, in honor of my sister, who is the only person to get the Beach Boys reference:

So there's going to be a war with Iran. The generals think it's a good idea. Of course, as James Q. Wilson could tell you based on his Bureaucracy book, generals ALWAYS say they can win because it's what they train for their whole lives. To say otherwise would be like asking the average American whether he loves his SUV and hearing "no."

Iran is so toast. In a sucky twist, though, so is Israel, since it's right by Iran and the Iranians outnumber the Israelis and have some, uh, nuclear capabilities. Oh well...

I mean, wait! America will do everything it can to protect those frail, quivering Israelis (Chaim Weitzman was a pussy!) and their arsenal of F-16s and nuclear weapons...but ultimately, let's be honest, Iran is going to wipe them off the globe. And then it will just be us and Iran, mano y mano, as it were; ...and also the several billion Muslims in the world arrayed against us. But we'll totally prevail because we have, like, Jesus on our side...and stuff.

Make your will now, dude. We are, like, so totally dead. But me? I don't give a FUCK because I just turned 28, so I'm not in the first batch of draftees. Eat it with a fork, America's future!!